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16:13
4360 178b

thecuckoohaslanded:

katbelleinthedark:

crunchymaggots:

wigglyistough:

pondwitch:

this is qwilfish, a generation 2 pokemon

im just posting this to say, i have never, in my entire life, seen anyone acknowledge its existence.

not only have i never seen fanart of qwilfish, ive absolutely never seen it mentioned in any kind of pokemon discussion, ever

good

I had a friend who honest to god IV bred and trained several Qwilfish. He didn’t tell anyone about them, you found out because  he’d suddenly pull out the Qwilfish team against you when you didn’t expect it.

And every single one of them knew Explosion.

All of his Qwilfish were IV bred and EV trained for speed and max damage, they all held choice scarf, and his entire gameplan was to trade KOs with exploding Qwilfish.

Their names were ‘So’, ‘I’, ‘herd’, ‘u’, and ‘liek’.

The man was an avid mudkip fanatic at the time that joke was relevant, so here you are expecting his last pokemon to be a Mudkip or a Swampert, but no.

It’s a Snorlax. Who’s name was ‘QWILFISH’

And his plan from that point out was to stall for ages with Rest, Yawn and Giga Impact. Slowly whittle away at your hitpoints while putting you to sleep with him and retaining his massive HP pool with rest and leftovers.

Oh, and just in case you were wondering, this was Gen 4, when the R4 was rampant and everyone knew someone with one, so pokemon with moves they shouldn’t know was pretty common.

So once you were down to your last pokemon and on your last legs…

His Snorlax also knew Explosion.

250 base damage + stab.


That man was a treasure.

I don’t understand a word of what you’re saying, but this sounds epic and I’m reblogging this for my Pokemon-savvy friends.

The only part of this I didn’t understand was the R4, but based on context I’m assuming it was a hacking device similar to an Action Replay.

And let me tell you something.  If you wanna know what kind of bullshit you can do with hacking Pokemon, YOU CAME TO THE RIGHT PLACE BECAUSE I TURNED THIS SHIT INTO A GODDAMN ART FORM.

LOOK AT THIS NONSENSE:

YOU KNOW WHAT REGIGIGAS GETS NATURALLY?  ONE OF THE BEST DAMN STAT DISTRIBUTIONS IN ALL OF POKEMON.  IT’S TANKY AS FUCK, HAS 160 BASE ATTACK (HIGHER THAN MEWTWO’S SPECIAL ATTACK) AND IT’S IN THE 100-BASE SPEED TIER (WHICH IS VERY GOOD).  YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IT GETS NATURALLY?  ONE OF THE WORST ABILITIES IN THE ENTIRE GAME.  Regigigas normally has “Slow Start” which cuts its MONSTER Attack stat and Speed in HALF for the first FIVE TURNS.  You have to survive for five whole turns to use this thing at full power.  That SUCKS.  So I gave it Contrary, which REVERSES STAT CHANGES.  You might not recognize V-Create because only Victini (and a special event Arceus I think) gets it – even MEW can’t legally get this move.  It’s a 180 base power physical Fire move which lowers your Defense, Special Defense, and Speed after you use it.  With Contrary, it’s a more powerful Hyper Beam that doesn’t have a 1-turn penalty, and boosts your stats to make you more defensive and FASTER.  And Superpower?  That’s 120 base power Fighting and lowers Attack and Defense.  Boom.  You can 1-hit a lot of things with your 160 base Attack and be even stronger next turn.  Drain Punch?  That’s basically Fighting type Giga Drain so you can recover a ton of HP from your high damage and stay alive longer.  Night Slash is a simple Ghost move with high base power and increased Crit chance for type coverage.  And Leftovers keeps your health topped up so you can keep tanking anything your opponent tries in vain to throw at your iron wall of defenses.

Can you say HOLY SHIT?  Because this Ninjask will fucking OBLITERATE YOU.  Ninjask has the highest base Speed of ANY Pokemon other than Speed Deoxys, which no one ever uses because it’s garbage.  The No Guard ability COMPLETELY REMOVES ACCURACY FROM THE FIELD, SO ALL MOVES WILL HIT NO MATTER WHAT, BARRING TYPE IMMUNITY.  You know what Sheer Cold is?  IT’S THE ONLY ONE-HIT KO MOVE IN THE GAME WITH ZERO TYPE IMMUNITIES, BECAUSE IT’S ICE TYPE INSTEAD OF NORMAL LIKE GUILLOTINE AND HORN DRILL (Ghost immune) OR GROUND TYPE LIKE FISSURE (Flying and Levitate immune).  IT’S A GUARANTEED OHKO ON EVERYTHING THAT DOESN’T HAVE THE STURDY ABILITY.  WHAT’S THAT, YOUR OPPONENT HAS STURDY?  BOOM, DARK VOID.  Dark Void is a Darkrai exclusive move that acts like Spore (100% Sleep chance), but hits MULTIPLE opponents at once.  Now you can hit that Sturdy Pokemon freely while it snoozes its HP away.  Can’t do anything else useful with Ninjask?  U-Turn is a Bug type move that hits to break Sturdy and then switches you out for another Pokemon immediately so you don’t waste your Focus Sash.  OH YEAH, FOCUS SASH MEANS IF YOU ARE HIT FROM FULL HP, YOU CANNOT BE KNOCKED OUT IN A SINGLE TURN BECAUSE IT GUARANTEES YOU SURVIVE WITH AT LEAST 1HP, BECAUSE IT’S BASICALLY THE STURDY ABILITY AS A HOLD ITEM.  Has Ninjask truly worn out its usefulness in the battle?  EXPLOSION.  Before Gen V, Explosion was actually TWICE AS POWERFUL AS THE GAME ENGINE EVEN ALLOWED, BECAUSE IN ADDITION TO HAVING 250 BASE POWER, IT CAME WITH A HIDDEN 2-STAGE DEFENSE DROP FOR EVERYTHING IT HIT, WHICH MADE IT EFFECTIVELY DEAL TWICE AS MUCH DAMAGE.

Do you know why this particular Wobbuffet is THE UNHOLY FACE OF THE VOID AND DEATH ITSELF?  BECAUSE OF SHADOW TAG/PERISH SONG.  THERE WAS NO NEED TO CHANGE WOBBUFFET’S ABILITY BECAUSE SHADOW TAG IS ALREADY GOD TIER.  IT PREVENTS YOU FROM SWITCHING OUT.  NOW HERE’S THE KICKER.  PERISH SONG GUARANTEES THAT ALL POKEMON ON THE FIELD WILL FAINT AT THE END OF 3 TURNS.  THERE IS *NOTHING* THAT CAN SAVE YOU.  BUT THE KO HAPPENS AT THE *END* OF THE TURN, SO WOBBUFFET CAN BE SWITCHED OUT AT THE BEGINNING TO TURN 3 AND LIVE TO SLAUGHTER ANOTHER DAY WHILE YOUR OPPONENT IS FORCED TO STAY IN BECAUSE SHADOW TAG IS STILL ACTIVE BEFORE THE TURN STARTS.  ONLY THE SOUNDPROOF ABILITY CAN PROTECT YOU FROM PERISH SONG.  BUT IT DOESN’T MATTER, BECAUSE THIS WOBBUFFET DOESN’T NEED TO PREDICT YOUR MOVES LIKE A NORMAL WOBBUFFET.  INSTEAD OF GUESSING BETWEEN COUNTER AND MIRROR COAT, IT HAS METAL BURST, A SPECIAL MOVE KNOWN ONLY BY VERY FEW POKEMON LIKE DIALGA AND BASTIODON WHICH DEALS 1.5X REFLECTED DAMAGE INSTEAD OF 2X BUT WORKS ON PHYSICAL AND SPECIAL MOVES.  AND THEN YOU CAN RECOVER THE DAMAGE YOU TAKE WITH SOFTBOILED.  Lagging Tail guarantees that you move last because Metal Burst doesn’t have the -6 Priority like Counter and Mirror Coat.  WHEN THE VOID STARES INTO THIS WOBBUFFET, WOBBUFFET STARES BACK WITH 1.5X DAMAGE AND SINGS THE VOID TO ITS ETERNAL SLEEP.

GENGAR HAS BASE 110 SPEED.  THAT’S REALLY GOOD.  THIS ONE OUTSPEEDS YOU AND PUTS YOU TO SLEEP WITH SPORE, WHICH HAS 100% ACCURACY.  THEN IT CAN USE NASTY PLOT SAFELY (+2 Speed Stages, or +100% of your starting Speed stat each time you use it).  SHADOW BALL (STAB GHOST) AND AURA SPHERE (A never-miss Special Fighting move) HAVE PERFECT TYPE COVERAGE BECAUSE FAIRY DOESN’T EXIST YET.

AERODCTYL IS EVEN FASTER WITH 130 BASE SPEED.  THAT’S THE SAME AS MEWTWO AND TIED FOR THE SECOND FASTEST IN GENERATION 1 (Electrode is base 140).  IT NATURALLY GETS ROCK HEAD, WHICH PREVENTS RECOIL DAMAGE.  SO NATURALLY I GAVE IT ALL HIGH POWER RECOIL MOVES.  HEAD SMASH IS 150 BASE ROCK (STAB), BRAVE BIRD IS 120 BASE FLYING (STAB), VOLT TACKLE AND FLARE BLITZ ARE BOTH 120 BASE FOR ADDITIONAL COVERAGE.  WIDE LENS COMPENSATES FOR HEAD SMASH BEING LOWER ACCURACY THAN THE OTHERS.

AND THEN THERE’S THIS FUCKER.  DO YOU KNOW WHAT SUCKS ABOUT GYARADOS?  IT’S 4X WEAK TO ELECTRIC, WHICH IS ONE OF THE MOST COMMON ATTACKING TYPES BECAUSE IT HAS GREAT COVERAGE.  SO I GAVE THIS FUCKER MOTOR DRIVE.  THIS ABILITY PREVENTS ALL ELECTRIC TYPE DAMAGE AND RAISES YOUR SPEED BY 1 TIER EACH TIME YOU GET HIT WITH AN ELECTRIC MOVE, EVEN NON-DAMAGING ONES LIKE THUNDER WAVE.  NOW GYARADOS IS HARDER, BETTER, FASTER, STRONGER.  IT GETS A FREE DRAGON DANCE TO SET UP BECAUSE YOU PROBABLY THOUGH YOU COULD KO IT WITH YOUR WEAKASS THUNDERBOLT.  NOW IT’S +2 SPEED +1 ATTACK.  EARTHQUAKE, WATERFALL, AND ICE FANG PROVIDE GREAT COVERAGE TO MAKE SURE YOU’RE DEAD NOW.

I have more but these are just some of my favorites.  This is what I was doing back when most people thought they were creative for sticking Wonder Guard on Spiritomb because it prevented damage from all non super effective moves, and Spiritomb had no weaknesses before Fairy type because it was Dark/Ghost.

Hacking Pokemon is an art form and no one will ever sit on my throne.

Reposted frommirandatam mirandatam

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